Love, Destiny
by Wolfie of Shonen-ai
Summary: {Sequel to Scar} Song by Ayumi Hamasaki. Kai is trying to cope with his life as he is attending Kyu's funeral. He keeps blaming himself for it all...will he break apart or let himself heal?


A/N:: The second and final part of this story. This is pretty much Kai at Kyu's funeral, and him coping with the fact that the neko-jin he said he loved is dead. What will he do? Will he continue to blame himself for his death? Or try to forgive himself? Go ahead and find out   
  
"Love, Destiny"  
  
Sequel to Scar  
  
(Kai's POV)  
  
_**Eternity really doesn't exist.  
  
I wonder when I first realized that.  
**_  
I was standing in the back of the church, as I saw the preacher speaking to the rest of the people in the santucary. I looked around the room, most of the people there I didn't look like they even knew why they were there, and why this was being held. I groaned lightly, busy thinking of how to make Tyson pay for inviting all these people we didn't even know to Kyu's funeral. I looked into the crowd, spotting a head of black, navy, and blonde, and I figured it was the others, since they were sitting near the front of the church, listening to the preacher. When would he finally stop speaking already?   
  
They wouldn't even let me near the coffin that held my precious koneko's body inside until the man was done, and it was seriously getting on my nerves. I clutched tighter around the ivory rose that I held in my hand, only to feel the thorns I forgot to cut off start to pierce into the skin of my hand. I twitched lightly, and looked down, seeing the blood start to drip onto the rose. I felt my eyes start to soften greatly, as it only reminded me of the blood that covered Kyu's pale skin on the night he practically killed himself. I knew it, it was all my fault that he was no longer standing with us...   
  
_**But I'm prouder than anyone else that  
  
the days we spent together weren't lies.  
**_  
Finally, I hear the shuffling of feet begin to fill the sanctuary, and saw the people leaving their seats to lay a flower they had brought with them inside the coffin. I looked down at my blood stained flower, and let my hand fall to my side, and began to try and retreat from the building, I wasn't ready to look. Suddenly, I felt the hand of someone grab my wrist, keeping me from leaving the room. I turned to meet a pair of narrowed golden eyes, and in his hand was a bright red rose. It was Rei, of course, and by the look of it, he wasn't going to let go of me.  
  
"Kai, where do you think your going?"  
  
"...Rei...I'm not ready for this...let go of me..."  
  
"Kai, what do you think Kyu would do if he saw you acting like this?" I heard his voice hiss, making me slightly flinch.  
  
Oh, sure, he just had to bring Kyu up at the moment. I nearly regret ever telling him that I was in love with the passed away neko-jin. His eyes started to pierce into my blood eyes, and then turned on one heel, heading for the front of the church, dragging me along with him. His grip on my arm was tighter than it would be possible for me to break the grip he had on me. He roughly pushed past the other people in the aisle, making them look down at him as he pulled me along, making the two of us get strange looks as we went by. The black haired boy stopped right as he got to the coffin, then, he finally let go, letting blood return to my arm. He pointed one of his hands into the coffin, glaring at me.  
  
"Look inside, Kai."  
  
_**I've lived up to now. Although the length of time is a little different.  
**_  
He wasn't asking me to do it, he was ordering me. I tried to let my eyes glance over at the silver and gold trimmed coffin, but they were forced closed, nearly feeling the tears stinging at my red orbs. I felt a hand take a firm grip of my chin, and gave me a rough pull, until my body hit something, making a hard oof come out of my mouth. I heard the chinese blader's voice echo through my head.  
  
"Open your eyes right now, Kai."  
  
I twitched, but my eyes finally managed to open, and I found myself looking down at the only person I could say that I truely loved. He was wearing a light white shirt with a pair of his favorite black pants, and a silver headband was around his forehead, making him seem more angelic than normal. They must of changed him out of the clothes that were stained with blood so people wouldn't freak out when they saw him. I felt the grip on my chin from Rei go away, but I wasn't being allowed to move. I reached a hand out, and laid it on the cold skin of the young boy. He seemed a lot more peaceful in this eternal sleep than he ever did when we first met him in the streets. All I ever saw in his eyes and expression was fear. I began to lift the hand that held the slight crimson stained ivory rose, and brought it over the side of the coffin. As gently as I could, as if I was going to wake him, I laid the flower on his chest, and placed one of his hands over it.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kyu..." I whispered, then murmured into his flattened cat ear, out of other's hearing, "Aishiteru, Kyu-chan..."  
  
_**Just having met you, just having loved you,  
  
even if we can't share our thoughts... I won't forget you.  
  
**_After a while, I finally found it in myself to move away from the coffin, as the men came and lifted the lid, closing it over the boy so we couldn't see him anymore. I let my eyes narrow slightly, and made my way over to the preacher. I had to talk to him about something. The elderly man looked over at me as I came over. He laid his small black bible down , as I stopped in front of him.  
  
"May I help you, young man?"  
  
"The clothes." I replied.  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"Kyu's clothes. The ones you changed him out of. I want you to give them to me."  
  
"And you are supposed to be?" The man raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I was his boyfriend, now give it to me."  
  
He stared at me, as if questioning what I had just said to him, but my glare kept him from going any further into my eyes. He finally gave up, and headed into the back, leaving me there with people staring at me. They must have overheard what I had said. The only ones that didn't seem shocked was Rei, Tyson, and Max. They had known about it, since the neko-jin over there couldn't keep his mouth shut, and he told them. After a minute, the preacher came out carrying a silk bag in his hands, and walked over, handing them to me. I took the black silk bag, and looked inside, pulling out the blood stained paw print headband he had since he was a child. I mentally cursed myself. The blood on his clothes and this headband was there all because of my cruel words.  
  
_**Why, even though it hurts so much,  
  
can't I think of anyone but you and I want to be with you?  
**_  
I then felt a hand being gently laid over my shoulder. I brought the headband back into the silk bag, and let my eyes meet up with a pair of storm orbs. There stood Tyson, trying to give me a bit of comfort if he could. I let a half smirk appear on my lips, letting him know I appriciated it. He gave me one of his boyish grins, and then we headed out of the building, out to the cemetary where they were setting up the place that my koneko would be buried. If I had it my way, I would have rather had him buried in the park he loved to go to, not this stupid cemetary that even I hated. I tightened my grip around the black silk bag, as I followed the others to the place where all the people that were in the church were standing by the dug hole. It was the place where they were going to lay the coffin inside. It felt a little weird, dropping a body into the ground, but I didn't even wanna know who came up with the idea to bury people. Probably a lunatic who was trying to hide the body of someone he killed...  
  
**_But I'm used to how I think of even small  
  
things as happy memories._**  
  
As the preacher began to talk even more about the young boy, I stared off into the grave where they would slowly drop the neko-jin into. I didn't seem to be enjoying looking down there, but my eyes didn't want to look up at all the faces of the people around me, or the coffin slightly above me. The words that was coming out of the elderly man's mouth seemed to not reach my ears, all I could hear was the soft sniffles coming out of everyone's throat. What the hell did they have to be sad about? They didn't even know him, and here they were, shedding tears for him. I would have growled, but my voice wasn't in the mood. From the feeling that there were eyes boring into my back, I could tell that the other three were behind him, seeing the look on my face. I sighed, and looked up from the deep hole, and let my eyes glance over at the other three members of my team.   
  
I lifted my head to see that they were lowering the coffin into the grave, as the preacher continued to speak. I could tell if I stayed here any longer I was going to end up breaking down, the one thing I didn't want to do in front of everyone here. I felt three hands lay themselves on both my shoulders and my back. I didn't even have to guess where they came from. The ones on my shoulders would be Rei and Tyson, and the one on my back would be Max. I clutched the silk bag in hand, as they finally brought the fashioned box into the hole, and the preacher held a small handful of this dust like substance in his hands. This is where I could actually feel my ears allow his voice to enter my head.   
  
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, we give our final farewell to this young soul as the angels of heaven lead his soul to his rightful place at God's side...."  
  
_**Even cliches and meaningless words, if they're said between us,  
  
have meaning.  
  
Just having met you, just having loved you,  
  
just having shared our thoughts... from now until forever...  
**_  
I frowned as I heard him say that, then drop the dust in his hand into the grave. After that, the men began to pour the dug up dirt back into the hole that now held the body of my koneko. More of the annoying sniffles from everyone around, minus Rei and the others, began to fill my ears, causing me to twitch a bit in annoyance. They didn't even know Kyu, or the reason why he took his own life, and yet here they were, pretending that they cared, and gave out small sounds to make it seem like they were sheading tears for him. I knew what happened to him, and I knew him very well, and yet I couldn't bring it in myself to cry for him. Am I really that much of an emotionless bastard, like everyone says? I looked up, to see they had finally finished burying him, and the preacher began to speak again from the small black boot he was holding in his hands. I sighed, and walked away from the small crowd, including my friends, and made my way over to the small lake. I needed to be alone, and to clear my head.  
  
I sat down on the slightly damp grass, looking out into the water that flowed through the small lake near the graveyard. I laid my chin on my knees, and hugged my legs to my chest, as I stared into the water, it's light reflecting in my red eyes. I allowed my mind to wander on the one thing that I swore I would forget after this day. It began to go back to the times when Kyu was still alive, with that beautiful smile on his face. His golden eyes shining with that innocent light that seemed to form an aura around himself, as if saying 'I'm the most innocent creature on this planet.' One moment when I knew the neko-jin seemed to stay in my head, and refused to leave. The say I was trapped in Black Dranzer's spell, and I was trapped in darkness that wouldn't leave me. He was the only one that was willing to risk his bit beast, Byakkou to try and help me out of the web that the dark phoenix had made to trap me. I showed respect to him for that one thing, but I tried not to show it...and that was my own mistake that I wish I never made. He was no longer here beside me, and now...I couldn't help but miss him.  
  
_**I should think of you as proof that I live without taking my eyes off of truth and reality.  
**_  
Suddenly, something began to drip into the already damp grass, making me lift my head up in confusion. Lifting my hand, I laid it on my cheek, and found the one thing I wasn't expecting. There was tears falling down my cheeks. It was a surprise to even me...I was crying, and the tears wouldn't stop flowing down my cheeks. Not in the mood to fight the rain that was pouring out of my soul, I laid my hands over my face, and began to cry openly, the silver drops falling from my hands to the grass below me. All that has happened since the day I found Kyu lying in the streets, bleeding under the dimly lit sidewalk was all my fault. My pride was the only thing that made him leave my side, and drive him to suicide. As I sat there in tear filled sobs, I felt something go around my waist, as someone seemed to press their face against my back. I lifted my head, my eyes still filled with tears, only to see that I was surrounded by two wings of silky white feathers. A voice that I recognized so well began to flow into my ears.  
  
_My poor phoenix, it's heartbreaking to see you crying like this. You made me very happy for swallowing your sadness and coming here, Kai-kun...I'm glad you did...  
_  
I managed to turn my head and found myself looking into the butterscotch eyes that I adored so much. His silver hair was brought into a long braid that reached the half point of his back. I felt my eyes slightly widen in surprise, considering the person behind me was the neko-jin I loved. My eyes started to fill up with more tears that wanted to be released, since I couldn't be with him anymore. Kyu brought his arms out, as if waiting for me to just come into them. I didn't fight the invitation, and I found myself clinging around his waist, my face buried into the collar of his neck, as the tears began to fall into his shoulder. I felt him bring one of his arms around my waist, while the other was stroking my hair. I didn't know how he could be here, letting me release the sadness that was being held up inside of me, but all that mattered to me was that he was there with me and I was going to treasure it as long as I could, even if it is for a short while. I could feel his demi human claws going through my hair, trying to calm me down a little, at best. I kept begging for this to be a dream. I wished I never would have said those words that I did back at the hotel...that he never ran off, and slit his own wrists, and that he never died before I could tell him myself that I loved him... I wanted to wake up...and let this hellish nightmare be over with for good. It was too bad that it was real, and nothing I could do could change it. I buried my face into his shoulder, my face streaked with the tears that were falling down my cheeks.  
  
_Kai-kun...?_ His angelic voice whispered.  
  
"Kyu..." I could only clutch him tighter, "I'm so sorry...all this mess was my fault...you would still be alive if it wasn't for me... all the words I said to you made you kill yourself..."  
  
_Kai...there was something you said....something I couldn't hear since I had died....you think you could say it for me again...please?  
_  
"....." Against my will, my voice uttered those four words that made a sting of pain run through my heart, "I... I love you, Kyu..."  
  
He then smiled, lifting my chin to look into my red eyes with his gold, _Thank you, Kai-koi... I'm happy to see your feeling a little better..._ A frown appeared on his face, _I need to leave now, Kai...  
  
_My eyes widened, and I tightened my grip in fear, "Please, Kyu... I know I can't stop you from leaving... but please, let me hold you until your gone...that's all I want..."  
  
His beautiful gold eyes stared into my blood, as a smile appeared on his face, _As you wish, koiishi...  
_  
_**Just having met you, just having loved you,  
  
even if I can never see you again... I won't forget.  
  
**_Even as I could see that he was slowly fading, his time with me and on Earth slowly slipping away like sand through your fingers, but even so, he held me close, and I did as well. I was afraid that if I let go of him now, he would disappear faster than he was now. I lifted my head, looking into his eyes, as he did for me. He bent his head down a bit, and then pressed his lips against mine. I allowed my eyes to close once again, as I pressed against his in response, even as I could feel him disappearing. After a minute, the pressure that was on my lips, and the grip that I felt around me vanished, leaving me alone in the damp grass by the lake. I was afraid to open my eyes only to see that my koneko was gone, but I had to...if I was going to be with him again. I opened my eyes, running my arm across my face to get the tears out of my face. I looked over, my eyes glancing into the crystal blue water that seemed to sparkle like sapphires.  
  
I heard a small cough, and I turned, only to meet with pairs of cerulean, storm, and golden eyes. My blood eyes narrowed, as I saw that Tyson, Max, and Rei were standing there, looking at my eyes, the only thing that had proof that I had been crying. They couldn't blame me, since I had lost the person that I loved. The only emotion that I could make from their eyes looked at lot like tender pity. I clutched tighter around the black silk bag that held the passed away neko-jin's clothes, and found the strength to lift myself off the ground, looking at the others, who simply nodded at me.  
  
"Come on...let's get going." I closed my eyes, and headed out of the cemetary, ready to go home.  
  
As we walked along, I looked up at the slightly cloudly sky, only for a smile to play along my lips. I was happy...for some reason. Just the fact alone that I met the young neko, learned to love him made me happy for some reason. I know I would never see him again in life, but there was one thing I was certain of...I wouldn't forget him, and I haven't now.  
  
_I won't foget you, Kyu... Aishiteru_  
  
A/N:: ::is having random objects thrown at her for killing Kyu:: U me gonna make this short. I hope you all enjoyed this story, and please r/r so I know what you thought of it. ::has a boot thrown at her head:: X Have a nice day.... ::falls over, unconsious:: 


End file.
